For Lily Moldan, ’19, Pride Month is a family affair.
She traditionally attends the Pride Parade in New York City with her partner, their daughter, their daughter’s father, and his girlfriend. The family wears rainbow gear to the parade and their daughter continues to wear rainbow clothes throughout June.
“It’s a really exciting month,” said Moldan, a social worker who works and lives in New York City with her family. “I get to celebrate my identity as part of my lesbian and gay community. It means coming together to celebrate identities and celebrate ourselves.
“We try to keep the conversation going all month,” Moldan added. “We try to talk about pride and the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. We continue to elevate different voices and voices that need to be heard.”
Listening to marginalized voices is something Moldan does every day. After earning a master’s degree in social work, she began as an intake clinician at the Center for Alternative Sentencing and Employment Services (CASES) in New York City, where she reviews arrest cases for their needs, rehabilitation potential and treatment program eligibility before they enter the court system.
“I love hearing about the stories and experiences people have had beyond the charges they may be facing,” Moldan said “They are so much more than that. We’re told not to judge a book by its cover; at some point we lose that, and I’ve been reminded of that again.”
A Criminal Justice Law Enforcement Technology major at Farmingdale State College (FSC), Moldan said she was always interested in social work, and her FSC degree and campus community experience provide a strong base for what she is doing now.
While at FSC, Moldan was open about her identity as she participated in numerous activities and worked as a Resident Assistant (RA) and Orientation Leader (OL). “I really enjoyed my time at FSC, I was trying to be involved in so many things and I was my truest self while doing it. I never had to hide who I was. I knew if I had an issue, it would be addressed appropriately. I always felt supported at Farmingdale and I can’t remember a time when I felt uncomfortable.”
Initially, Moldan said she mainly socialized with other Greek Life members, who at the time, were straight students. “I came out to my sorority sisters and I was the only lesbian for some time,” she said. “I remember other 2SLGBTQIA+ students beginning to join Greek Life after me.
“Once I became an RA in the beginning of my sophomore year, I had the chance to socialize with other 2SLGBTQIA+ students and make friends with them as well.”
Numerous Farmingdale staff members also supported Moldan’s identity and made her feel comfortable in expressing who she was. One of them was Tia LaBarbera, a Resident Director she met freshman year before becoming an RA. “She embraced me and helped me acclimate to Farmingdale as an 2SLGBTQIA+ student,” Moldan said. “Unfortunately, she has since passed away from cancer, but the impact she had on me has lived on within me and the other lives she touched.”
Moldan, who came out in middle school, had struggled to find that kind of inclusion and community she experienced at FSC. “I felt like the only one in middle school,” she said. “I was alone in that space, not fearful, but isolated. I found people as I went along. My family was great; my mom is a social worker, and was supportive. My father was supportive and my partner’s families were supportive.”
Growing up, one of her role models was professional soccer player, Megan Rapinoe. “I remember watching her on TV and thinking she was cool,” she said. “I admired her having that platform and she took a stand on equal pay as well.”
Now, Moldan is offering her advice to those wrestling with finding acceptance.
“I think I would want them to know that their experiences are valid, and no matter what anyone tells them, their voices deserve to be heard,” she said. “They are capable of finding space where they can be accepted. If they can’t or that seems impossible, they shouldn’t let that deter them from being who they are.”
